Passion often blinds sweethearts to the fact that matrimony is, at bottom, a contract. Figuring out how that partnership can prosper is critical for a successful union.

Yet financial differences rank among the greatest sources of marital misery, in part because talking about money before you tie the knot makes many couples uncomfortable.

Spouses who find themselves bickering about finances early in their marriage could end up hashing out the same issues in divorce court, said Tina Tessina, a licensed psychotherapist and author of “Money, Sex & Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That can ruin your Marriage.”

Romance, common interests, shared values and friends are important for a marriage too.

But how you handle money can telegraph how you feel about power, personal responsibility, charity and family. And these issues can pull a marriage apart.

So what do you need to talk about? Here are a few suggestions:

Know the history: Understanding the past is important to building a solid future, said Cecily Maton, partner at the financial planning firm of Aequus Wealth Management.

Each partner needs to understand the other’s experiences to grasp what might be motivating their behavior now. if your in-laws were cautious with money, chances are your beloved is too. if your parents spent carelessly, it would help to explain your credit card addiction.

This background can help you understand whether your partner sees money as a reward, a punishment, a tool or an albatross, she added.

Air the laundry: Forget affairs, drug habits and rap sheets. some newlyweds have been most shocked to learn of a new spouse’s credit history.

That’s why trading credit reports is advisable before you tie the knot, Tessina said. these reports show how much debt you have outstanding and whether you’ve always been responsible about paying your bills.

You may decide that you’re so in love that you’re willing to marry an overspender, said financial planner Laura Tarbox. but having that information might cause you to keep your accounts separate, for example, so the unencumbered spouse doesn’t end up liable for debts he or she had no hand in creating.

Set your goals: Talk about the way you want to live and what you want to achieve.

“It’s one thing to say that you both want a house. but one of you might be thinking about a little condo, and the other wants a three-story home with a yard,” Tessina said.

Shared goals keep partners from blaming each other if things don’t quite go as planned, said Lorraine Steen, a Miami Beach mother of two.

After Steen and her husband bought a house two years ago, they were dismayed to see prices tumble, but they had agreed not to second-guess themselves.

“Once we buy something, we enjoy it and move forward,” Steen said.

Who does what? get practical. how are you going to pay the bills?

Some couples merge their checking and savings accounts and pay bills out of the one pot. others divvy up expenses, and each pay some. some couples choose a “yours, mine and ours” approach, where they have a joint account that’s fed by both to pay shared bills, but each keeps separate accounts too.

The right answer is as individual as the couple.

Get it in writing: Prenuptial agreements are written contracts laying out the division of assets and future earnings if a marriage falls apart.

Prenups make sense for couples that come into marriage with children or disparate assets, said Eleanor Blayney, consumer advocate for the Certified Financial Planners Board of Standards and the founder of Directions, a financial planning firm focused on women.

“They can take money out of the relationship, so there are no nagging questions, like ‘Hmm, I wonder if he married me for my money?’” she said. “By recognizing that there is a financial aspect to a relationship, they can spell out that that’s not what the relationship is about.”

Consider the kids: Planning to have children? That begets a whole series of money discussions.

For instance, will you want one partner to stay home while the kids are young? if so, who? And how will you handle money matters?

If you both have kids, will you share the cost of their upbringing and college, or do you intend to handle your kids’ bills separately? You should also consider how you each feel about supporting your offspring as adults.

There’s no pat answer. It’s just better to consider the possibilities before you marry rather than after.

Estate planning: You may want to leave your assets to your respective children, for example, but what happens to the surviving spouse when one of you dies? Does he or she lose access to the deceased’s pension and savings? could they lose control of the house?

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